


about that night

by LauraRoslinForever



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff without Plot, Han and Leia being grandparents, Long-Distance Relationship, Maybe some angst, One Night Stands, PaigeConnix, Secret Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy, poefinn, slowish burn, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22371898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraRoslinForever/pseuds/LauraRoslinForever
Summary: Rey Kenobi is a personal aid for Connecticut's most influential senators, Leia Organa, and may or may not have a long-time love/hate relationship with her son. Mostly hate, mostly a ridiculous crush because it isn't love. He's condescending and without a doubt the biggest pain in the ass she's ever had to deal with. Thankfully, he's going off to work at a law firm in London and after the Christmas party, he'll be (mostly) out of her hair.That is until he walked over to her and kissed her.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Reylo
Comments: 90
Kudos: 275





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo this is my first Reylo fic. I dived head first into this fandom with The Rise of Skywalker. THAT KISS THO. Ever since I haven't been able to get this couple out of my head so here I am. I hope you enjoy this lil story and also hope you don't mind the way I just ignored the whole Palpatine thing. Oh! And chapters to come will be longer than this one. ;)

“So what happened last weekend? Rose said she thought she saw you leaving with someone,” came the voice of Kaydel Connix.

“Rose needs to stop watching me and focus on herself,” Paige replied. “Katherine and I just went out for coffee.”

“Uh-huh,” Kaydel teased.

Her friends continued their conversation about their weekend, but Rey Kenobi was oblivious, despite the laughter and voices of her coworkers that filled the bathroom. She’d snuck in the bathroom with a test she bought that morning on a whim. She hadn’t been feeling very well for the last week. Instead of staying up bingeing Schitts Creek and Game of Thrones with Finn she foundherself falling asleep earlier and earlier at night and having to drag herself from bed in the morning. Her roommate Finn had made a joke asking her if she was pregnant when she turned her wrinkled her nose and made a beeline for the bathroom at the smell of his banana crepes. She’d feigned outrage that he dared to ask her something like that, and then they laughed it off saying it was nothing. It wasn’t until the floor of Starbucks swayed underneath her feet later that day she gave any serious consideration to his absurd question. 

But… she _couldn’t_ be, she’d firmly told herself even as she walked across Main Street to the corner CVS. _Technically, you could,_ a traitorous voice had whispered in the back of her mind. Images of the one drunken night she’d spent with her boss’ son after the company Christmas-Hanukkah party rushed back to her. 

His voice in her ear. His hands on her hips. His lips on her… everything. She had closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn’t think about that just then. Not when she was running late back from her lunch break and not with him… out of the country for the foreseeable future. She didn’t even have his phone number in England! He would be gone for months! If heaven forbid, she _was,_ what was she going to do? Go to Leia and say, _I’m sorry, this is a bit awkward, but I got drunk and slept with your son and am now pregnant with his child, could you by chance give me his new number?_

That would go over swell.

Her eyes ran over the rows of tests taking in the different brands and options. There were things Rey was willing to buy off-brand, but this was not one of them. So she’d grabbed the most expensive one and headed to the counter. 

She ripped open the box and took the test from the package. She glanced over the instructions quickly noting the time it’d take for the results and threw it and the package into a garbage bin outside the capitol building before making her way inside. 

All the way upstairs she had told herself she was being ridiculous. They’d used protection both times! There was no way. Absolutely no bloody way.

“Oh, Christ,” she murmured, looking down at the stick in her hand. She groaned and closed her eyes at the word glaring up at her, but it still flashed in her mind in great big bright bold letters.

_Pregnant._

“Fuck.” She swallowed feeling that queasiness from the morning return. Now, what was she going to do?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments, bookmarks, and kudos! I'm so happy you've enjoyed even the first little chapter that you're willing to stick around for this whole angsty/fluffy/sexy story with more feels than plot. As I'm new to this fandom (not Star Wars really but more Reylo) I hope they're not horribly OOC. Okay so, here we go. Ben's POV will come eventually. Also, I adore Connix and it shows. ☺️

“Hold on, sorry, I think the connection is bad,” Poe Dameron said, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Can you say that again?”

From beside her, her friend and roommate let out a frustrated sigh while he ran a hand over his face. “You heard her, she said she’s _pregnant_ ,” Finn replied, moving closer to Finn’s phone that was perched precariously on the table by a bottle of wine. “Do you remember a month and a half ago when I called out that one night and I told you I thought I heard a man’s voice in Rey’s room, but you told me she was probably just watching porn-” 

Rey’s jaw dropped, feeling slightly mortified. “ _Porn_?”

But Finn didn’t hear her, too intent on his recollection with Poe making him oblivious to her indignation. “And you said I should let her explore that side of herself, well guess what, babe, it wasn’t porn. It was a man and if you would have let me go check on her like I wanted to, she might not be in the predicament she is now.” 

Rey closed her eyes and let her head fall back as she groaned. It was no use trying to talk when they were like this. She thought briefly of getting up and going to her room where it was quiet and she could finally have a moment to just think.

“Go check on her?” Poe let out a scoff then yelled, “Do you hear yourself right now? She was having sex, Finn!”

Rey looked at her friend just as he gave his boyfriend a look, ceasing their banter. Turning to her, he asked, “Rey, honey, you have an ivy league education. You work for one of the most powerful women in the country. What were you thinking?”

“Hang on, hang on,” Poe interrupted. “Forget what you were thinking, who is the father?”

The room descended into silence as both Poe and Finn stared at her. She let out a sigh, then said, “It’s Ben.” Finn blinked at her and Poe’s head tilted to the side. Neither of them had a clue. It was only slightly disappointing since she only mentioned him no less than five times a week. She rolled her eyes when nothing for either of them came. “Leia Organa’s son.”

“Oh my God…” Finn’s eyes grew wide. “You’re telling me you slept with the personal attorney to the CEO of one of the most environmentally destructive organizations in the world... An organization that you and Senator Organa, _his own mother_ , fight every single day? The man you claim is behind your migraines? That Ben?”

Well, technically, it was her hormones _and_ him from all the stress he gave her. “Yes.”

Finn reached out and took her hand. “Peanut, why?”

She blinked back the wetness that threatened to fill her eyes. Because she was lonely? Because he walked out onto that empty balcony with her and offered her an ear and his coat? Because when he kissed her there was something about kissing him felt so... right? 

Finn and Poe were waiting for her answer. She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know, because after a few drinks he’s not the asshole he makes himself out to be?” 

Finn gazed at her with disbelief and after all the stories she’d told him about Ben, Rey couldn’t blame him. She did not paint Ben Solo in a good light. “Really?”

Poe raised a brow. He’d been present for some of her tales of the great and terrible Andy Snoke and his legal minions. “That’s hard to believe.”

“Well, it’s true,” she defended with a bit more bite to her tone than she intended. 

“Were you drunk? Did he take advantage of you?”

“What? No, it wasn’t like that.” Well, the drunk part was at the beginning, but she had been sober when she invited him home. “I mean, yeah, we had been drinking, but we were still aware of what was happening.”

Finn and Poe shared another look. She didn’t know how, but when Finn turned back to face her, it was like they’d both come to a mutual decision without saying a word. “Rey, whatever you decide to do, we’ll support you.”

“Absolutely. And we won’t judge.”

“That’s right. We can take a little trip to New York and stay with Poe if you decide to do something about it and you don’t want to take care of it here...”

“What?” Her eyes flicked from Finn to Poe and back. An uneasy feeling swept over her when she realized what they meant. “You’re not suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Baby girl, there’s no shame in it. It’s your body.”

“I’m glad you think that because I’m going to keep it,” she said firmly. She wasn’t in the mood right now to go into the reasons behind her choice. The bottom line was, Rey knew what it felt like to not be wanted. She wouldn’t do that to her child, even if it was only a tiny speck of cells. 

“Oh.”

She watched them gaze at one another… again. Obviously, this wasn’t what either of them expected.

Finn was the first to speak. His smile was bright and genuine when he told her, “We support that too.”

Poe gave a resolute nod. “We do.”

“We’ll be uncles. We’ll take him or her to the park and how to tell the difference between Chanel and Gucci.” Finn grinned at her. “It’ll be great.”

She suspected they were just saying that to be supportive. Their initial reaction told her all she needed to know, and yet, that was okay. They’d help her get through it even if it wasn’t something they’d choose for her. Keeping the baby would come with sacrifices but to Rey, it would be worth it. 

Despite everything, she laughed. “Thanks, guys.” Finn pulled her into one of his big bear hugs, one she gladly returned. When they drew away, she glanced at the clock on the wall. It was just after seven and she was already tired. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Is there anything I can get for you?” Finn asked, keeping hold of her hand.

 _Ben Solo_ , she wanted to say but didn’t. Christ, she was pathetic. “No, I’m fine.” She squeezed his hand for reassurance and gave him one last smile. “Goodnight you two.”

The look he gave her was sad, almost like he wanted to say more. She had to look away. “Night, Rey.”

In the bathroom, she got ready for bed like she would have any other night. She showered and put on one of her college Yale tee shirts and soft cotton shorts. Opening her cabinet, she took out her moisturizer because it smelled good, even more so now if that was possible, then grabbed her toothbrush. Something in her toothpaste was off, though. She barely made it through thirty seconds before she couldn’t do it anymore. Trying to keep herself from throwing up, she rinsed as quickly as she could then tossed the offending paste into the trash. 

She turned out the light in her room, closed her door, went over to her bed and crawled under her duvet. She tried, she really tried to sleep. She was exhausted emotionally and physically, but her mind kept returning to her predicament and what her future would look like now.

The future where she worked alongside Senator Organa and pursued a position as a part-time lobbyist looked a little too ambitious. With a stubborn set to her jaw, she turned on her side. There were plenty of successful single mothers out there. Nothing was stopping her from being one of them. She’d yet to let herself breakdown over it. What would the use of that be? She couldn’t change anything. She couldn’t go back and stop herself from suggesting to Ben that he stay with her. 

Mostly, she couldn’t change that he never once tried to call her since that night. 

She determined once she’d gotten back from lunch earlier that day that she’d most likely be a single mother. Ben obviously held no feelings toward her, no matter how amazing their goodbye kiss was or his promise to keep in touch. It had been almost two months since that morning. As hard as it was for her to admit, she couldn’t rely on him, that much she was sure. 

He couldn’t be bothered to call or visit his mother on her birthday. How would he be with a child? A child that he would most likely see as an inconvenience. 

Well, it wouldn’t be to her. 

She let out a huff and flipped onto her back. Already, she felt a fierceness building in herself. A fierceness she would use to protect her child and give him or her a home she never had. She would not go a second without knowing she was loved. 

Before Rey knew it, her eyes were filled with tears. She wiped them away, growling softly, beyond frustrated at herself. 

Turning on her side, she reached for her phone. She only had to wait two rings before she heard Kaydel’s, “Hey, girl, are you watching because oh my-” Kay’s voice broke off as a sob escaped her. Rey put her hand over her mouth but not soon enough. “Rey? Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

She hadn’t meant to cry so hard, but hearing the voice of her best friend, it just happened. “Oh, Kay, I’ve really gone and done it this time.”

There was a pause and then Kay’s concerned voice filled the line once more. “Do you want me to come over?”

She should have said no. Said that she was fine, and she’d talk to her in the morning. But this was what they did, didn’t they? They’d been college roommates for three years. Moved out and went and banged on every door trying to get internships together until they were both hired, more-less taken in by Ben’s mother. 

However, this wasn’t like the time in college when Kay comforted Rey when she had gotten drunk off of too many Jell-O shots and thrown up all over the ping-pong table her crush had been playing a game on. It wasn’t the same as when she was escorted out of the city council meeting when one of the councilmen has gotten his feathers ruffled and thrown his nameplate at her for simply voicing her opinion. 

This was so much more and as strong as she was, she wanted her friend.

“Yes.”

She didn’t look up when she heard the door to her room open ten minutes later, only scooted over to one side of the bed and turned on her side facing the television. In the time it took Kaydel to make her way up the two flights of stairs between their apartments, Rey had turned on the TV and was numbly watching it trying but failing to get her emotions under control. She felt the bed dip and then the smell of Clinique Happy Heart that was unique only to the only other person who might challenge Finn for the spot of her best friend. 

Arms wrap around her, making her eyes sting. “I’m here. Tell me.”

“Remember the Christmas party?” 

Kay let out a long sigh. “The beginning sure. The middle and end are a little fuzzy. Why?”

“If you recall I didn’t go home alone.”

“I remember. You’re lucky I was the only one who saw you idiots.” Kay laughed softly and Rey only had to wait seconds before the laughter ceased from what could have only been Kay’s dawning comprehension to the cause behind Rey’s tears. “Wait, did he call you? Did he hurt you because I’ll fly to London and punch him in his overly large nose.”

“No, he didn’t hurt me,” Rey said, wiping away the tears from her cheeks that began to fall once more. “He hasn’t called at all.”

Her friend’s brow furrowed. “Does he have your number?”

“Of course, he does. I’m the only way he gets a hold of his mother.”

Her tone must have conveyed her annoyance and humiliation because Kay’s lips lifted into a knowing, lopsided smirk. “So you _are_ hurt.”

She bristled knowing beneath everything that yes; she was more than a little hurt he hadn’t called her. “Maybe a little. I’m sure he’s busy with Snoke. He’s probably got him undoing what little good is being done in the UK.”

Kay rolled her eyes and reached over her to where Rey had an open pack of Twizzlers on her bedside table and took one for herself. “God, I hate him. I hope one day soon he chokes on the toxic chemicals his companies spew.”

Rey was too tired to join her friend in venting over the genuine venom they both held for that man, instead, she let a sigh escape her. “Same.”

“Why don’t you just call him? I’m sure he’d probably like to hear from you.”

“It’s not that simple anymore I’m afraid.”

There was a pause and then Kay shook her head. “Okay, now you’ve lost me. Rey, he’s a guy. How complicated can it be?”

Rey grabbed her down comforter and covered her face groaning into it before saying, “Have you ever heard the term, up the duff?”

She couldn’t see her friend’s face, but she could hear the confusion in her tone. “Um, it sounds vaguely familiar…” Just then her friend’s hand was on her arm upper arm squeezing her tightly. “Oh my God, is it like crabs? Did he give you something?”

“Oh my God,” Rey mumbled into her comforter at Kaydel’s dramatic flair. “Just Google it,” she told her with half-hearted exasperation.

“All right, but I don’t know why you can’t just tell me… oh.”

Ray removed the blanket from her face and met Kaydel’s started gaze. “He gave me something all right.”

“Fuck, Rey.”

Rey suppressed a snort. “Precisely.”

“You’re going to tell him, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course, I am, just as soon as I figure out how.”

“Are you going to tell Leia?”

Covering her face with her hands, she groaned. “God, not yet.” She imagined telling their boss hundreds of times already. Imagined walking into Leia’s office, standing in front of her desk while looking into the woman’s warm gaze and either being unable to form the words or stuttering put the whole sordid story of taking her son back to her place after saying goodnight to her and her husband a few moments before. “I dunno why but I feel like telling Leia will be harder than telling its father.”

“Oh, come on, she’ll be thrilled.”

“She’ll be thrilled for the baby,” she said pinching the beige of her nose. “She’ll be shocked and disappointed when I tell her it’s Ben’s.”

Kay frowned down at her, her chin resting on her shoulder. “You don’t know that. Sure, the situation isn’t the best. He’s across the pond as you Brits say, and, okay, so maybe you both kinda hated each other before… but it doesn’t have to always be like that. You liked each other well enough to… ya know.” 

Kay waggled her eyebrows making Rey laugh. “True,” she said. “But I’m not going to tell anyone else until I have it confirmed with a doctor.”

“Good plan,” Kay agreed softly letting her head fall on Rey’s shoulder.

She turned her head to look at her. “Will you come with me?”

“Girl, please. You don’t even need to ask.”

Rey returned her friend’s gentle smile then turned her attention back to _The Bachelor_ , a show she’d long lost any interest in. 

When she imagined having a child, she was always married or at least with someone. Really with someone. Not that this wasn’t fine. There was only a little part of her that wished things might be a bit different. That perhaps Ben would be there with her. But it was silly to think about, really. She and Ben shared only one night together. One night where he didn’t see her as a senator’s aide who made it her and his mother’s job to make his professional life difficult, and where she didn’t see him as a soul-selling, power-hungry, unfeeling arsehole. 

Maybe if things had been different, if they had more time together before… 

She wouldn’t think about that. The fact was, was that things weren’t different, and this was happening to them now. She was scared and uncertain but determined she’d make the best of it. 

“I’m glad I have you,” she murmured to her friend, her eyes closing finally feeling like she could sleep.

“Me too.” Kay’s arm around her tightened and Rey raised her hand to grip her arm. “Are you watching that?”

She shook her head as he let out a wide yawn. “No, I think I’m going to sleep.”

Kay took the remote from by Rey’s side, and just as she was about to drift off she heard Kay say, “Oh look, Netflix has _Knocked Up_.”

Rey’s eyes sprang open, and she looked over her shoulder to see her friend’s eyes dancing with mirth. Her lips pressed together, holding back her amusement. Rey’s eyes narrowed. Gripping the pillow she’d been hugging to her chest, she swung it backward hitting a laughing Kay lightly, but solidly in the face. “Shut it, you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it gets a bit more real for Rey and a peek at their night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't have a beta. All mistakes are sadly, mine.

One phone call to her regular physician and two days later, Rey sat with an anxious Kaydel in the room waiting for her results. She’d been ushered in by a bright-eyed young medical assistant who weighed her and then held out an empty cup with a smile and gesture to the bathroom. Rey glowered at the small offending plastic but did as asked. Thank God she’d had three cups of tea that morning. 

For the last couple of days, Rey had been in a state of suspended acceptance. After she woke up the next morning, Kay had told her how she’d spent most of the night reading about false positives and how stress could also explain some of Rey’s symptoms. Though she thought a false positive to be extremely unlikely, Kay had planted a little seed of doubt in her mind and she wondered might it be true?

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It should relieve her. She was young, just barely twenty-four, a year and a half into a position most would kill for, and it wasn’t like she had a relationship with the father. Far from it. 

Yes, relieved was what she would feel, she told herself. It would be stupid to feel anything beyond that. Especially if there was no baby in the first place. 

She didn’t think about how often she’d had to remind herself of it. 

The moment her doctor stepped in the door, Rey was ready. Taking her phone from where she had laid it next to her on the examination table, she said, “Before you say anything, I wanted to show you, I have all my cycles written down. I’m thinking it might have been a false positive,” Rey began her eyes flicking from her doctor whose eyes that were incredibly large behind her thick glasses to Kaydel who sat up straighter nodding along with her like they had all this figured out, “because three weeks ago I had a period for three days and-”

“Was it regular?” Dr. Kanata interrupted. 

Rey paused as she thought back. It was… _Christ_. “Come to think of it, no, not really. It was lighter than usual, and didn’t last as long.” Her doctor nodded coming fully into the room. “But surely even then that means the test I took was wrong?”

Dr. Kanata sat down on the small rolling stool. The look she gave Rey told her all she needed to know. “I believe what you experience was called implantation bleeding. It’s when the embryo attaches itself to the uterine lining and can sometimes cause a little bleeding. We got your tests back and they confirm the result you got.”

“Oh.”

A silence filled the room like her doctor and her friend were giving her a moment to take in the news. It wasn’t surprising. Not really. She didn’t know how to describe it but she felt different. 

“Did you want to discuss other options?” 

Rey shook her head and wiped a tear from her cheek that managed to escape. She wasn’t upset as much as she was overwhelmed. “No. No, that’s not necessary, I just need to know what I do now.”

Dr. Kanata slid the stool over and gently patted her knee. “As much as I’d like to look after you during your pregnancy, that’s not my specialty. By the conception date you’ve provided you’re seven weeks today,” she said, her gaze now on the iPad in her hand. “Any OBGYN will make you wait until you’re at least eight weeks along before they see you.”

“Why is that?” Kaydel asked.

Dr. Kanata didn’t look up from the device. “Many reasons. Mostly because unless it’s a high-risk pregnancy up until eight weeks there’s little testing to be done.” Rey met Kaydel’s gaze. Her friend genuinely deflated at that. She’d been so excited thinking if Rey had been pregnant she’d heart the heartbeat or something more than just confirming what they already knew. Her eyes now back on Rey, she added, “You’re young and healthy so I don’t see any reason to rush. If you’d like, I can refer you to a wonderful OBGYN here in the building. She delivered both of my grandsons.”

While Rey would prefer to choose her own, as tired as she was and with all she had to think about, trusting her doctor’s referral just took one of the many things she had to worry about off her plate. “That sounds fine.”

“Her name is Zorii Bliss. I’ll get you her card and have Jannah set you up with an appointment for next week. What time is good for you?”

Any other time Rey would pull up her calendar and schedule any doctor’s appointment between one of her lunch breaks or maybe early before work. But not this time. “Anytime. Preferably her soonest available.”

The doctor smiled, knowingly. “Of course.” Another few taps on her screen and then she was blinking up at Rey. “Do you have any questions?”

Rey took a deep breath and gazed up at the ceiling. She had so many questions, but she might as well save them for next week. She shook her head, but then something came to her. “Oh, um, when am I due?”

Her doctor let out a soft laugh. “Oh my God, child. This is why you don’t want me to deliver your baby.” She adjusted her thick glasses on her nose and peered down at her iPad. “Your due date is September fourteenth.”

“Awww, a shy little Virgo,” Kay crooned, her eyes bright as she looked up from her phone.

Rey barely suppressed rolling her eyes at Kay’s adoring smile. _There,_ Rey thought. She could already see it. Kay would be home with her later doing her future child’s chart. That’ll hold her friend until her next appointment. “Is there anything I should or shouldn’t be doing?”

“Ah, yes. You’ll hear all this from Zorii, but you’ll want to take a prenatal vitamin. I’ll add a prescription for one and have Jannah give you a list of foods to avoid and all alcohol.”

“What about coffee?” Rey asked because giving up alcohol she could do but her morning latte, that was blasphemous.

“Coffee in moderation is fine. One or two cups of it won’t hurt you. And if you’re a daily drinker, don’t go cold turkey,” her doctor warned. “You already have to deal with pregnancy symptoms. Why add withdrawal headaches to the list?”

“For real,” Kay said, gravely as though even the thought was too much for even her.

“You can talk about it more when your appointment comes, but there’s nothing wrong with having a cup or two a day. Anything else?”

Rey shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”

“All right.” Dr. Kanata stood and this time, placed her hand over Rey’s giving it a comforting squeeze. “Good luck, my dear.”

Outside, Rey wrapped her scarf around her neck as a bitter wind whipped all around them. A winter storm was expected overnight. The front of the storm warned to move in by evening. While Rey loved snow she just hoped she could get home before it fell too heavily. 

“God, that was crazy,” Kay said buttoning her coat up then crossing her arms tightly around her. 

Rey hummed thoughtfully. “I thought for a second there you were going to cry.”

Kaydel gave her a look as she pulled her phone from her jacket pocket. “That’s my niece or nephew in there. I’m going to get a little emotional.”

Rey came to a stop as they neared the crosswalk. Luckily for her, the hospital was just three blocks from the state government offices. Getting to and from her appointments shouldn’t be too difficult depending on how long they ran. Rey looked over at her friend. Her fingers flying across her keyboard. “Who do you keep texting?”

“Just Finn and Poe,” Kay said glancing up and blinking at her like it should have been obvious. “We have a baby group chat.”

Rey raised a brow. “A baby group chat?”

“How else are we all going to stay informed?”

Rey let out a breath that billowed around her in a great puff of white. Well, if it saved her from having one or two more conversations, why not? Just then another breeze swept by only this time it carried with it the smell of one of her and the senator’s favorite deli’s just down the street. Her stomach growled with an intensity she hadn’t had in a few days. “Lunch?”

Kay peered over at her. “Are you feeling up to it or are you stalling because you don’t want to face Leia?”

Rey chuckled. “Both?”

A half an hour later, Rey carried her and Leia’s lunch down the hall of the senator’s New Haven office. She smiled and nodded to a few interns who said their hellos but didn’t stop to make small talk the way she might if she hadn’t just spent twenty extra minutes on her break. 

Just outside of Leia’s office, she dropped her lunch on her desk across from Paige and Kaydel’s. Senator Organa had two legislative staffers; her and Paige along with two constituent services representatives, Rose and Kaydel who worked in New Haven while the rest of her staff worked in her DC office with Leia’s Chief of Staff, Amilyn Holdo.

Rey knocked softly on Leia’s door before popping her head in. Senator Organa looked up from her laptop and smiled. 

“I brought you lunch,” Rey said holding up the brown bag and smiling as if bringing her boss the lunch Rey knew she would skip unless someone brought it to her would smooth over how long it took Rey to get back to work.

“Pastrami on rye?” 

Rey nodded. “With extra spicy brown mustard and two pickles.”

“Rey, have I told you you’re my favorite?” Leia pushed back her chair and stood, taking the bag from Rey. 

“A time or two, Senator.”

They both shared twin smiles as Leia took her seat once again. “I’m expecting a call from Senator Crapo, will you please take it and tell him in no uncertain terms to take his proposal and shove it up his ass.”

Rey cringed. “That bad, eh?”

“It was insulting, to say the least.”

Rey gave her a nod. “I’ll make sure he gets the message.”

“Great,” Leia replied. With that Rey turned to leave, but just before she could shut the door, Leia’s voice stopped her once again. “Oh, and Rey?”

She stepped back inside. Her stomach dropped thinking Leia might mention how long she’d been gone. Having to explain why her appointment was longer than normal was not something she was ready to get into. “Yes?”

“You don’t have to tell me to give me the details, but how’d your appointment go?”

She smiled a smile she didn’t quite feel. “Everything’s fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“Fantastic.”

Ray waited a few seconds until Leia’s attention turned back on her screen before leaving. 

Outside the office, Rey sat down at her desk with a heavy sigh. She hated this. It felt as though she were keeping secrets not only from her boss but the grandmother of her child. She held so much respect for Leia. Not only professionally, but personally. And she was just really terrible at lying. Like, extraordinarily terrible. She was distracted and tired and it wouldn’t take Leia long to figure out something was wrong. 

Her tomato basil soup and veggie sandwich from Market Fresh wasn’t as appealing as it once had been, but Rey knew not eating would leave her more lightheaded than she already was. Reaching into the bag she unwrapped her half avocado BLT sandwich and took a bite.

She pulled up her calendar and scrolled through the months to September. Between bites, her gaze fell away from her computer screen that brightly displayed her home screen to her mobile phone which sat face up on her desk completely silent. Her eyes narrowed. The disappointment she once felt as the days passed with no calls was turning into something more. Something less disappointed and more aggravated. 

How dare he ask if he could call her then never do? How dare he talk about the things he had and then move on like it hadn’t meant a thing? 

Because it had. Rey was sure of it. She knew because she felt it too.

_Ben rolled them over bringing Rey to lie half on top of him with her on his chest while their heartbeats slowed. Long moments passed, he seemed to be in no hurry to leave and truth be told she would rather he stayed. His hands caressed up and down her back, she closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the feel of his hands on her._

_When his hands stilled Rey wondered if he’d fallen asleep and was nearly close to dozing off herself when he asked, “Do you ever think about how your life isn’t what you’d thought it would be?” Rey’s brow furrowed. What was he asking her? Before she could ask, he snorted. “What am I saying, of course, you don’t.”_

_Miffed he would assume such a thing, she raised her head and narrowed her eyes at him. “How would you know?”_

_One of his hands left her back as he waved it in the air. “You’re young and you’ve still got everything ahead of you.”_

_She rolled her eyes. “Ben Solo, are you only_ seven _years older than me.”_

_“Exactly my point. You’ve already got everything figured out.”_

_Her mouth dropped open at the ridiculousness of his statement. “I most certainly do not.” At his raised brow, she added, “Sure I love my job, and if you breathe a word of this to your mother I will kill you, but it’s not what I want to do forever.”_

_He looked genuinely intrigued. “What do you want to do?”_

_The tips of his fingers trailing down her spine had butterflies with gossamer songs erupting in her belly. It was intimate and distracting, but he needed to talk so she ignored them and forged on._

_“I want to be a lobbyist. I want to work on something I’m passionate about-” she paused, her mouth falling open. “Are you rolling your eyes at me?”_

_He pressed his lips together and she could tell he was trying not to smile. The bastard was laughing at her now? Rey started to move away but his arms tightened around her holding her to him. “No, okay, yes, but it’s not why you think. It’s just so..._ you _.”_

_She blinked down at him. “Thank you, I think.” Before she knew it he leaned his head up and kissed the tip of her nose. The look he gave her when his head fell back against her pillow was incredibly soft all the fight went out of her. “So tell me, what don’t you have figured out?”_

_She reached up and traced small circles on his chest._

_He let out a long exhale. “Everything. I thought I had it all together. I made partner at First Order when I was thirty. I bought my apartment in Midtown Manhattan in cash. I can do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, and fuck everyone who doesn’t agree.”_

_His parents. She knew he was talking about his parents. She’d had enough late-night conversations in the office with his mother and even the occasional dinner with her and her husband Han to know they wanted more for Ben._

_“Turns out it’s not all it’s cut out to be.”_

_“Oh?”_

_“A few months ago they diagnosed my dad with Alzheimer’s.”_

_She swallowed past the tightness in her throat. She’d comforted his mother after she’d found out. Han had always been so welcoming to her and Kaydel when they worked with Leia at their home. He teased her relentlessly about a time when she first met him and called the trunk of his car a “boot.” She had grown very fond of him, and it pained even her to think about him one day forgetting her. “I know. I’m so sorry.”_

_“I hadn’t seen him in a while. Either of my parents.” This she knew, but she decided against saying anything. The last thing she needed to do was add to his already mounting guilt. “Nothing I ever did was good enough. In high school, I was a lot like my dad. Cocky and rebellious. I didn’t give a fuck about much, let alone grades. I did all right though, but mediocre wasn’t good enough. They thought my uncle could knock some sense into me because they sent me to stay with him over the summer after my junior year. The only thing I learned was that I didn’t want to become some crazy free-spirited hermit. So I stepped it up my senior year and did really fucking well. Even with my grades from my previous years I somehow got into Yale and away from home.”_

_Rey rested her chin on his chest. Stories about Ben Solo were nothing new. Senator Organa was a proud mother. Whether it be between late nights at the office or time in her home standing in front of pictures of a young Ben, Senator Organa couldn’t resist telling Rey stories. Whatever happened to the sweet, shy boy who loved flying with his dad and trips to the country to visit his grandparents with his mother? She couldn’t resist asking, “Then what happened?”_

_“I buried myself in my studies. Mom got elected. Dad retired. Somewhere along the way, I decided I wanted to go to law school. I wanted to go into corporate law, my mom wanted me to get into Pro Bono shit. She said we had enough money for me to do something worthwhile. My dad always wanted me to follow in his footsteps and be a pilot so by that point there wasn’t any pleasing him. He didn’t care one way or another.” Rey watched her hand as it rose and fell with his breathing._

_Rey knew his relationship with his parents was strained. Tension settled into the room whenever they spoke of Ben’s absence. But it wasn’t only them. Ben carried this with him all this time so their rift must have been bothering him more than he let on. She understood in her way. She’d grown up with the same desire to make her grandfather proud. Their childhoods were vastly different. He’d grown up with both parents while her mother left her on her grandfather’s doorstep. Both Leia and Han admitted to being frequently absent while her grandfather made it a point to spend as much time with her as he could. His time and attention hadn’t healed her abandonment issues, but he’d been there. He’d sent her to school. Attended every play and recital. Encouraged her dreams and helped her get into school in America. It wasn’t until later that she became fascinated with politics she decided to stay. Even though he told her he’d miss her, she always had his unwavering support._

_Without her grandfather, she didn’t know how her life would have turned out._

_Her heart suddenly ached for Ben._

_“I never imagined when I got married and had kids he wouldn’t be there for it.”_

_She wanted to reach up and brush the hair away from his face and whisper reassurances, but she couldn’t give them to him. She didn’t know what the further held, and she wasn’t one who would give away false hope._

_“I think I’m just tired of being a soulless fucking asshole.”_

_She didn’t care about how often she aggravated her or how much she used to curse his name. Rey gave in to her impulse to comfort him. Leaning her head down, she placed a soft kiss on his chest right above his heart. “You’re not soulless.”_

_He laughed. “Just an asshole then?”_

_She couldn’t help but smile at the amused look on his face. “You have your moments when you can be a bit of an asshole. But despite your difficult tendencies, I happen to like you. So I’d appreciate it if you’d stop being so hard on yourself.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“I like you, too.”_

_Rey’s breath caught not just by his words but from him as his lips tipped up into the most adorable grin Rey had probably ever seen. His arms tightening around her was her only warning before he rolled her onto her back. A squeak of surprise left her followed by his deep chuckle. A soft moment passed between them where they just gazed at one another. Rey’s heart pounded in her chest with the thought she was the reason behind the softness in his eyes. His thumb caressed her cheek and her eyes closed as his soft, incredibly talented lips found hers._

_He kissed her slowly, thoroughly as if they had all the time in the world._

A tear slipped down her cheek and Rey angrily swiped it away. 

* * *

Unbeknownst to Rey, across the Atlantic, Ben Solo stared out the window of his temporary office with a view of Tower Bridge watching the sunset behind it thinking about a night not so long ago, wondering if it was too late to call.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so horrible at replying to comments but promise I read them and LOVE every one. And if you want to find me on Twitter, I'm @TineMWoods :)

“All right, I’ve got them. Signed. Sealed. Delivered. And you doubted my abilities.”

Ben looked around to see Armitage Hux coming into his office. The man dropped a thick stack of paperwork on his desk with a soft thump. Curious, he leaned forward and took the documents. “Did you threaten their families?”

“It hardly came to that. I just reasoned that this was their best opportunity and once it was gone it would be out of our hands. And I may have pointed out how this takeover would be better for everyone’s health overall. Don’t have me that look. The man had two heart stents in the last three months. Stress isn’t good for anyone, especially for a man with a new granddaughter.”

Ben merely grunted in response he scanned the document making sure all the signatures were in place though his legal assistant would check over it again.

“What’s got you in such a foul mood?”

This abysmal excuse of a life. The fact that he had to work with people who used scare tactics and intimidation to get what they wanted. That he had used those same tactics himself. So, general self-loathing.

“Nothing,” he replied, not bothering to give voice to his inner monologue. 

“You should be happy,” Hux began, leaning back in the chair across from Ben’s desk and, to Ben’s astonishment, placed his feet crossing one over the other on his desk. Ben gave him a look that must have conveyed his irritation because the smile dropped from Hux’s face and he rolled his eyes while taking his feet off the desk and back onto the floor. “We’re one step closer to getting out of this damp depressive country.”

Unlikely. Ben let out a sigh and tossed the papers down on the desk. “Right. I’ll have Mitaka file these first thing in the morning.”

“Smashing as they say.” Hux stood and Ben resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “What do you say? Join Phasma and me for a drink?”

“No thanks. I don’t feel like going out tonight.”

“England has turned you into a bore.”

It wasn’t the country though it didn’t help. His mind just wasn’t there. Wasn’t with his job. It was back in Connecticut with someone he couldn’t get out of his mind no matter how hard he tried and the guilt that time with his dad was slipping through his fingers. Time he didn’t want to lose but had no idea how to make work short of saying fuck it to everything he worked so hard for. 

“I need to call my dad.”

Hux knew about his dad’s diagnosis only because the day his mom called to tell him they’d both been in the elevator and when his mom had broken down, Ben forgot Hux was there. 

That shut him up anyhow. His lips pressed into a thin line and remained like that for long miners before he stood and said, “Ah, well in that case. See you in the morning.”

The few redeeming qualities about his flat in London were that it was only a five-minute walk from his office, a decent organic grocery store who made quick deliveries, and a fully furnished kitchen. 

Before he left the office, Ben opened up his Planet Organic app and added a bottle of Merlot, beef sirloin, asparagus, and mushrooms. He could already feel himself getting anxious about calling home, anxious enough to think about maybe even calling Rey. Seven years of and thousands of dollars in therapy and the only thing he took away from those hour-long sessions were a handful of manageable coping skills. Anything that kept his mind busy. The most helpful being, cooking. So with the help of YouTube and an old chef from his favorite restaurant in New York City, he learned how to cook.

Ben found he enjoyed cooking. He was a foodie. He preferred cooking for more than just himself and may have spent a time or two since his night with Rey thinking about when he got home he might invite her to his place and make something for her. Then he’d remind himself he lived in New York and her, in Connecticut and how the nearly two-hour train ride one way might not be something they’d want to deal with. 

He would. He would deal with it in a heartbeat if it got him there to see her. The trip would be even quicker if he were to drive. But then how long did he think they could really keep that up? They were both stupidly naïve and filled with hope before when it seemed like there was nothing to get in their way. Then he left and work took over his life once again and he told himself he’d call her when things slowed down, then that became over the weekend and next week when he could focus on nothing but her… and now here he was. Nearly six weeks later and he still hadn’t called.

But it wasn’t like she’d gotten ahold of him. _She doesn’t have your number, jackass,_ a voice said in the back of his mind, along with, _you’re the one who said you’d call her_.

Turns out, he was an asshole.

An hour and a half later he stood in this kitchen, hair wet from the shower after he spent an hour running, getting ready to wash and chop the mushrooms and asparagus. Deciding to bite the bullet, he retrieved his phone from the living room and put in an AirPod into his ear while he waited for the call to connect. He placed the phone on the counter and just as he turned on the oven to preheat it, a voice that wasn’t his dad’s answered the phone. 

“Hello?”

“Mom?” He glanced at the screen to make sure he called the right number. Not that his mom couldn’t answer the phone she just had her own and never did. They were usually in separate rooms of the house doing their own thing. He suddenly worried that maybe with his dad’s symptoms that would all change or was changing. “Where’s Dad?” 

“He went with Chewie to get a part for that dumb Camero and left his phone behind.” Ben breathed a sigh of relief. His dad’s hobby of fixing up old cars never failed to exasperate his mother. That his dad was still working on cars must mean things were still pretty normal. “Do you have Chewie’s number?”

“No, I mean, yes, I do but it’s all right. I can talk to him later. It’s not important.” 

“You sure about that?”

Her comment sent a twinge of guilt through his gut. It was a dumb thing to say for a multitude of reasons. Mostly being every conversation with his father from here on out would be damn important and this, well… “Mom,” he began, leaning back against the counter with a long exhale. “I think I fucked up.”

“Oh God,” she said. “Okay, what happened? You’re not in jail are you?”

“What? Jesus, no.”

“Well, you are your father’s son. Can you blame me for asking?” No, he supposed not, but for fuck’s sake, jail? It was like he was seventeen all over again. When he didn’t reply right away, she coaxed. “So tell me what happened.”

Ben opened his mouth to tell her about Rey but immediately closed it. Should he? He was sorely tempted. He needed to talk to someone about this. Sad as it was, Hux was the closest thing to a friend Ben had, and talking to him about Rey was out of the question. He called his dad because he knew he’d tell him just to man up and call her, but now that he thought about it, maybe his mom would be better. At least she’d be honest with him and tell him if he was wasting his time. Shit, was he really going to tell her? 

He was. 

“I… I slept with a girl…”

And, of course, as soon as those words were out of his mouth, his mother, as dramatic and on-brand as ever, automatically jump to the worst, most absurd conclusion fucking possible. “Benjamin David Solo, did you knock up some poor girl?”

“Mom, what? No! No, I slept with her and never called after I said I would,” he told her, barely keeping the annoyance from his voice. Pushing himself away from the counter, he went over to the cabinet and took out a chopping board as he explained, “I feel like I left it too long, and it’s too late to call her.”

“How long ago are we talking?”

“Since the night I left for the UK.”

He could hear her humming, thinking, and he prayed with everything that he was she didn’t put two-and-two together from that night. “It’s definitely been a while. Obviously, you like this girl or you wouldn’t still be thinking about her.”

“I do.”

“All I can say is take a chance, honey. She picks up, or she doesn’t. If she likes you she will.” His lips tipped up thinking about that night. _...despite your difficult tendencies, I happen to like you._ He liked her too… a lot. More than a lot. He was a fucking gone for her. His mother’s voice was back. Her curiosity getting the better of her making her ask him, “Why did you wait so long?”

“Because I’m an idiot. And the more that I thought about it I thought with me being over here for the foreseeable future it’d be possible to continue… but I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“There are worse things than long-distance dating. With technology these days, you kids have it so much easier than your father and I did. I remember when I was seventeen my mother sent me to my grandmother’s for the entire summer and do you know how many times I got a chance to talk to your father?” He rolled his eyes knowing he didn’t have to ask because she’d continue with on with her story like she always did. “Once and only because I snuck into town and used the payphone. The _payphone_ , Ben.”

Ben took the bottle of extra-virgin olive oil from the counter and dripped it over the baking sheet. “Okay, I get your point.”

“Who is this girl? Do I know her?”

Ben paused before reaching for the mushrooms. “I’d rather not get into that.”

“So I do know her.” He closed his eyes. _Fuck_. How’d she do that, anyway? “Just please tell me it’s not that severe woman you work with.”

“Phasma?” His mom hummed and affirmative hum and said, _That’s her!_ Ben made a face. “No. It’s not Phasma, Mom.”

“I was just curious. You did after all bring her to your father’s birthday a few years ago...”

If he could, Ben would go back in time and never agree to bring Phasma with him. From the moment they stepped in the door, his mother had bombarded him with question after question. Where had they met? How long had they been working together? Were they seeing each other? Was she seeing anyone? Was he interested in her? After it was all over and he was driving them to a hotel where they had separate rooms, Ben vowed he would never again bring a girl anywhere near his mother. Unless he was married. 

“I only brought her because she wanted to meet you.”

“She made an impression that’s for sure.”

Ben snorted. No shit. Once his mother got off his back and actually spoke to Phasma herself she realized quickly how conservative and straight-forward she was. More often than not, she left his mother’s jaw hanging wide open, and his father marching off to the den to refill her glass with his stash of strong scotch.

When he had the vegetables chopped and rinsed, he placed them on the baking sheet, adding more olive oil and sea salt. “It’s getting late here, I should go. I have some work I have to get through.”

“Okay, take care and don’t work so hard. You need a life too, honey.”

With those last words, he deflated a bit. He couldn’t be as annoyed as he was before not when she was being so motherly. “Right.”

Before he could hang up, she said, “And Ben.”

“Yeah?”

“Call the girl.”

He pressed his lips together then said, “I will.”

* * *

A baby. 

She blinked, staring out her window where the snow had begun to fall, seeing and not seeing. She’d never really pictured herself as a mother. Sure she had the occasional fleeting thought when she’d see mom’s with their kids at Target or the mall and think, they seem happy. 

She’d always been more focused on school and her career to think about marriage and kids. She had plenty of time to think about it now. Almost thirty-three weeks to be exact.

Her hand drifted down over her still very flat abdomen and rested there. It still amazed her to think of the little life beneath her palm and how quickly she’d gone from terrified and unsure to confident and hopeful. 

Not confident in the way she thought she knew what she was doing. She didn’t know the first thing about kids except that she knew how to hold one. She’d held a lot of babies who had been past to her while parents shook hands with Senator Organa. Most definitely not confident when she thought about delivering her baby. She hated pain and would need drugs. 

But she’d always been an optimistic person, and once the shock had worn off she felt... hopeful. So she knew nothing about babies, so what? There were parenting classes and the birth would be painful but that was what Lamaze and epidurals were for. 

And… maybe (a little bit of hope tucked in her heart) there would be Ben. 

Kaydel and Finn both downloaded apps on their phones that told them everything from the symptoms Rey was and would experience, to how big the baby was compared to fruit. According to their app, her baby was the size of a blueberry and by the start of her eighth week, he or she would be the size of a raspberry. She hadn’t downloaded the app herself. When they asked her why she didn’t want to, she simply said she felt it was a little too early for her. She needed more time before she embraced the realness while her friends were already planning her baby shower.

But if she closed her eyes a time or two and imagined whether the baby would have Ben’s eyes and her nose or maybe his stubbornness and her lack of gracefulness well, that wasn’t any of their business was it? 

It’d been four days since she’d seen Dr. Kanata and gotten a call from Jannah with her appointment with Dr. Bliss scheduled for the following Monday, and her prescription of vitamins which they called into her preferred pharmacy. The pills to Rey’s absolute horror were huge, and it’d taken a mouth full of water just to get one down. So far her nausea stayed to a minimum, just in the mornings and usually gone after eleven but the tiredness… that was a monster that tormented her all day long. 

She found herself wanting nothing more than to sleep. It didn’t matter where. She could be in the elevator, in the line at Starbucks, at her desk, or sitting on the toilet. She found her thoughts drifting at work about how comfy her bed was and counting the days until the weekend. 

Every night as soon as she got home he took a shower, got into her pajamas and went straight to bed. 

_“Eat and sleep now as much as you can, Peanut.” Finn had told her earlier that night when she complained she was starving but too tired to eat. “Cause soon you’ll be up all night feeding someone else.”_

She’d never wanted to punch someone so much in her life. Okay, Ben had given her moments when she’d like to inflict bodily harm on someone, she’d just never been close enough to be so tempted to go through with it. Instead of hitting him or responding that her child would be one of those good babies who slept all night, she’d taken two slices of pizza put them on a plate and went into her room. 

A half an hour and two slices of pizza she’d probably regret later and her eyes blinked heavily as her gaze drifted out her window to the snow that had been falling for three days now. She was so so tired. Pulling the blanket up to her chin, she sighed. As much as she wanted to watch the snow come down, because of its intensity she’d have to be up earlier than normal if she wanted to be to work on time. She was just starting to doze off when her phone screen lit up with a notification.

It was probably Kay wanting to know if they were taking her car to work in the morning or Rey’s. She’d rather not drive her car if she didn’t have to. Her small Kia was shit in the snow and ice and she’d rather not subject them to that. Shifting up on her elbow, she reached out for her phone and… 

_Hey. Are you busy?_

Rey blinked at the screen. The number was… she sat up fully, much more awake than she had been only seconds ago. It was... an international number. 

“Oh, my God.” Her heart pounded in her chest. “Ben,” she whispered as she typed his name and sent it with a question mark. 

Three little dots appeared and then, _Yeah. Is it okay if I call you?_

_Yes, of course!_ she typed back quickly. Oh God, oh God, oh God. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. That stupid, idiotic man was finally calling her and she… she… she wasn’t ready. Whatever she said before about wanting him to call, she took it all back. But maybe she didn’t have to tell him now? Maybe she’d just talk to him? Maybe later after they’d had a chance to reconnect she’d tell him about… about...

The ring of her phone startled her, and she dropped her gaze. _Shit!_ One deep breath, and a murmured, _Here goes nothing._ She slid her finger across the screen to answer it and pressed the phone to her ear. 

“Rey?”

“Ben.” She didn’t realize she was smiling until she caught her reflection in the window. Her brow furrowed, realizing another thing, it was late. Looking down at her phone, it was just after eight which meant... “Gosh, it’s got to be…” _Ugh_ , math. She was so tired. “It’s so late there.”

“Just after one. It sounds like I woke you?”

Just mentioning sleep made her yawn. “You did, but it’s fine.”

“It’s only what, eight there? You’re too young to be asleep this early,” he teased with a light rumbling chuckled that had her heart doing little flip-flops in her chest. There was her Ben. “Should I call tomorrow or maybe this weekend?”

“No. No, it’s fine.” She wouldn’t be able to sleep now if she wanted to. She just wanted to talk to him. “I’m awake now.”

“How are-” they both began and then both laughed. 

Rey didn’t know why, but she just started crying. Stupid hormones. The universe could be so cruel. 

“You go,” he told her. 

“How are you?” she asked casually while whipping her eyes with the sleeve of her thermal pajama top trying to keep the words _please, come home_ and _I’m having your child_ from escaping her. 

“I’m okay. Things were a nightmare when we first got here. I don’t know how these clowns even operate with all their ridiculous politeness and all their goddamn tea breaks.” Rey covered her mouth to muffle the giggle that escaped. He sounded so genuinely put out over something as offensive as manners and mildly caffeinated beverages. He let out a breath, that to Rey sounded like relieved. “But thankfully Phasma knows how to get shit done and the takeover is turning out to be not as hostile as we expected. Things are finally going smooth.”

“That’s good,” she said, feeling more confident now knowing his work was going well enough that she could drop the news on him and he wouldn’t have at least work on top of this to worry about. She licked her lips. He wasn’t saying anything. The opportunity was right there. Rey opened her mouth, she just needed to say it but… how? She’d been over how she would tell him a million times in her mind and now she couldn’t even seem to say the words. Just tell him. Say the word. “How’s England?”

She fell back on her bed. Coward. She was such a coward. 

“Wet.”

She laughed harder than she should have. “It does that a lot.”

“So I’m discovering,” he muttered, his voice filled with resentment. 

“When do you think you’ll be home?” she asked hoping she didn’t sound like some pinning teenager with a crush.

“If things go and they have been, six months, maybe less. More if they decide to fight it.” Right. So most of her pregnancy, if not all. So much for maybe telling him in person. Unless she wanted to just introduce him to the baby after it’s born. Rey suppressed a snort. That would be hilarious. Not really hilarious, just Ben’s face for that first ten seconds when he realized what she was saying and then it would stop being funny. “What about you? How are you?”

“I’m — good. Fine, really… I’ve just um, I’ve been thinking about you.”

Rey cringed and slapped her hand over her forehead. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“I’ve been thinking about you too. A lot actually.”

She opened her eyes. The butterflies were back making her feel suddenly warm all over. “Really?”

“Really.”

Rey swallowed past the tightness in her throat at the sound of affection in his tone. Suddenly, she had to tell him. She couldn’t keep this from him. It was one thing before when she didn’t have his number… even then she had no excuse because she worked with his mother. If she waited, she would only feel more guilty than she already did. It was now or never. 

“About that night...” she began.

“Can I be honest with you?” he asked, interrupting her. 

She smiled. “I dunno, Ben Solo being honest? Can I get that in writing?” she teased laughing a little, but even in her own ears, it sounded hollow. That was the thing, Ben was honest. As were so many other things, so much more than she ever thought. “Sorry, that was mean and untrue.”

“No, I deserved it. We both know I play dirty and can be a manipulative ass in court, but I promise you, Rey, I would never lie to you.”

“I know.”

“I really enjoyed our night together.”

His voice was filled with the same warmth and richness as it had been the night they spent together. As ridiculous as it was, she missed it. She missed _him_. “Since we’re being honest, I enjoyed it too.”

“Oh, I’m uh, I’m glad,” he stumbled. “But that’s all it has to be.”

Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

There was a pause, and she told herself not to jump to conclusions while she waited for his response. Finally, he said, “Well you’re there, and I’m here and you’re... you.”

She suddenly felt sick. This was not what she’d expected at all. She thought him calling her meant something different. Their conversation until this point had her hopes rising that this could work, that he might want her. 

Apparently not.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked defensively.

“Rey, you deserve better than someone like me.”

Was he joking? He had to be joking. “Wow, Ben. Really? Don’t you think I should be the judge of who I deserve?”

She heard him sigh. She could just see him running his hand through his hair. His soft, “I don’t know what else to say,” went straight to her heart, making her feel suddenly hollow. 

He didn’t know what else to say?

Rey stood from her bed, unable to sit still a moment longer. _Then why call me?_ she wanted to scream. Why call just to say, hello and oh, that night was great but I don’t think I deserve you. That was just so… so _stupid_. What was even the point? She shook her head and looked up at her plain white ceiling trying to stop the tears so close to the surface. She knew exactly what he was doing. He was backtracking. He didn’t think he deserved her so he was sabotaging it before it even began. 

Normally, it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. Any other time she wouldn’t have taken it so personally because she would have reminded herself that he was just being Ben and would reassure him he was being an idiot but damn it, she was more than a bit hormonal and now all she wanted to do was cry which made her even more upset.

“You know what, Ben, this is just like you to pull something like this because heaven forbid someone gets close to you or care about you. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I should have known you’d make silly excuses and push me away…. just like everyone else. I’m sorry I ever thought you’d be ready for this.”

“Ready for what?” he asked, his voice rising right along with hers only sounding genuinely confused. “Rey, I’m just being realistic. I care about you and I wanted to see if it would work out but… fuck, I’m just thinking of you-”

“Oh, is that what you’re doing?” Maybe she should have just stopped talking. Maybe she should have just hung up. Maybe she should have recognized the hurt and the massive amount hormones running through her system and took a deep breath but suddenly, missing him, feeling alone and carrying his baby-it was all too much. “Well, how’s this for realism? I’m pregnant and you’re the father. Think about that and get back to me when you’ve pulled your head out of your ass.”

She hung up the phone then tossed it across the room. 

Later she’d worry about how she overreacted. Right now she just wanted to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. lol


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry this update took so long. I had to rewrite it a few times because of timing and ugh, but it's done. Anyway, I hope you like it.

Ben held the phone away from his ear, glancing down at his home screen. Stunned, he stood there processing the last few minutes that swept his entire world out from underneath him. She’d hung up on him, but beyond that, Ben was replaying those last words over and over in his mind. 

One in particular.

Had she just… she said… Pregnant?

_ … and you’re the father. _

“Fuck!” he yelled, his expletive filling the dead silence of his apartment as he flung his phone down on his couch with enough force it bounced off the cushions and clattered onto the floor.

He could hardly spare it a care though. A cracked screen was the least of his worries. Hands on his hips he began to pace. Shaking his head, Ben denied it.

“We used protection,” he told the wall in front of him. “Both times.” Sure the condom he used had been in his wallet a while. It seemed fine. He couldn’t remember any difficulties putting it on. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair. Had it expired? Had Rey’s? Come to think of it, when  _ did _ they expire? Taking his phone from the floor he brought up his Chrome app and googled expiration dates. “Three to five years,” he read aloud. It’d been a while for him but not that long of a while. “Ninety-eight percent effective.” He snorted. Wonderful. File he and Rey away with poor fuckers in the two percent.

Once again he mentally kicked himself. All that time he’d been going on like an imbecile and she had been trying to tell him he was going to be a… he closed his eyes. He was such a fucking prick. Goddamn it!

It didn’t hit him until he was lying in bed hours later staring blankly up into the darkness of his room that Rey was having a baby.  _ His _ baby.

He was going to be a dad.

Unable to shut his mind off, Ben shoved the blankets off him and got up. He doubted he’d get any sleep tonight. He’d be a fucking zombie for this meeting tomorrow, but they’d just have to deal. 

He ran his hand through his hair, reached for his phone on his bedside table, and frowned. The only notifications he had were a few emails. Still nothing from the one person he wanted to hear from. 

It’d been two hours since he tried to call her. Nearly eleven PM in New Haven. He probably shouldn’t call, give her time to cool down. He tried again anyway. “Come on, Rey,” he murmured, surprising himself with the level of need in his tone. 

_ “Hey, you’ve reached Rey Kenobi. I’m not able to answer your call but...” _

He moved the phone away from his ear and ended the call. He needed a drink. Tossing the phone down on the bed, he got up and went to the kitchen. A large, unopened bottle of Bowmore sat on his counter in the same place it had the night he arrived. A gift from his client. Andrew Snoke was many things. He could call Snoke many things; a bastard, profiteer, cold disgraceful asshole, but a man who didn’t know his whiskey wasn’t one of them. 

He poured himself two fingers of the amber liquid and went into the living room. His head would kill him tomorrow but he didn’t care. 

Letting his head fall back against the stiff back of the sofa, Ben ran a hand through his hair. Soon there’d be a small person with Rey’s eyes and smile, probably his ears and hair and fuck if that didn’t terrify the shit out of him. So did the thought he might have messed up everything with its mother.

What the fuck was he supposed to do if she didn’t answer? He took a sip, let the burn go down slowly. There was nothing he could do from where he was at and as much as that pissed him off, there wasn’t much he could do about it. If he were back home, he’d drive to her apartment and bang on the door, begging until she answered. 

He needed advice. He grabbed his phone and sent a message to the one person who could get angry women to forgive even the worst transgressions.

_ You up? _

The old man was probably asleep. Ben didn’t know many seventy-year-olds who routinely stayed up late, except for his mother. But he, along with his father, was convinced she was made from sterner stuff. He needn’t have worried though, his response came moments later.  _ That I am. What’s up, kid? _

Ben let out a sigh and typed,  _ I messed up with a girl and now she won’t answer my calls or messages. _

_ How bad? _

_ Bad enough. _

_ Have you tried flowers? _

Ben stared down at his phone. Seriously? This was the old man who had married and divorced the same woman three times sage advice?  _ I don’t think flowers will fix this. _

_ Ah, young one. Flowers don’t fix it. Flowers give you a way to apologize when she won’t let you in. In my experience, ladies can say no to you but they never say no to blooms. _

His rough scoff filled the room.  _ You’d know. With that vast experience of yours. _

_ What can I say? The ladies love Lando. _

Ben rolled his eyes. He had a feeling any further advice would be just as simple, just as obvious so he changed the subject.  _ How’s Dad? _

_ Good. I’m keeping an eye on him. There’s a new drug trial I stumbled across. I’m going to talk to your mom about it later this week. _

_ Send me the info. Let me know if there’s a cost. _

_ Will do. Don’t worry about the cost. _

While Ben appreciated his godfather’s generosity, he preferred to be the one fronting any bill. Lando was good enough to use his free time to look into the many drug trials and alternative medications out there. The least Ben could do was pay so he could feel somewhat useful.  _ He’s my dad. _

_ And he’s my best friend. Between both of us, I’d say he’s in good hands. _

Ben felt a tightness in his throat and had a hard time swallowing past it. He was grateful they were messaging instead of talking so Lando couldn’t see how affected he was by all of this. The last thing he needed was his godfather telling his mother. He needed to be strong. For her. For his dad. Ben wiped his eyes and cleared his throat before going back to his conversation.  _ So flowers? _

_ It’s a start, kid. It’s a start. _

He supposed so.  _ Thanks, Lando. _

_ What are godfathers for? Good luck. _

He snorted softly. He’d need it.

With a sigh, he closed out of his messenger and against his better judgment, pulled up flower shops in New Haven. There were exactly three within the vicinity of downtown, and the first website he clicked on had a large arrangement on a coffin. Yeah, not that one. He clicked back and chose the one with the most stars. 

The website was bright and obnoxiously cheerful. Tapping on occasions a bunch of categories came up and lo-and-behold, there was one for apologies. He bet they made a killing off of male stupidity. 

There were many arrangements to choose from but it was the very first one on the page that captured his attention. The description said the blossoms were a stunning bouquet of light pink roses, white roses, lilies, lisianthus, and sweet peas. It was classic and soft and very very Rey. He ordered it before he could stop himself.

After three Ben dragged himself back to bed but thought Rey might call had him tossing and turning most of what was left of the night. Surely, Ben thought he’d at least wake up to a message, instead he woke up to Hux.

“The meeting with Mr. Daniel’s has been pushed back from nine to eleven. They’re being difficult on purpose. Trying to waste our time,” came the gingers terse tone followed by a long-suffering sigh. 

He rolled over onto his back, his mind going back over the years, thinking about what he might have done to deserve the position he was in. Something karma deemed he needed to atone for. “And you couldn’t have just Mitaka relay this information, why?”

“Because I know how much you love it when I call.”

Ben wasn’t in the mood. “There’s something else. Spit it out or hang the fuck up already.”

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Ben’s grip tightened on the phone but Lucky for Hux he got to the point. “It seems Daniel’s had a change of heart overnight. We’re looking at a real fight ahead of us.” Ben didn’t miss the outright glee in the man’s voice. It would mean more late nights. More hours. More negotiations. More time away from where he needed to be.

Where he  _ wanted _ to be. 

Fucking wonderful.

Ben, mostly, considered himself a patient man. One needed patience in his line of work. Judgments, mediations, jury’s, all required a significant amount of patience. He was all right with that because it always paid off for him in the end. 

But when Friday turned into Saturday and Sunday morning came without a word from Rey, Ben reached the end of that patience.

With a large mug of black coffee in one hand and his phone to his ear with the other, Ben took long, purposeful steps down the hall toward his bedroom while waiting for his assistant, Mitaka, to pick up. As soon as he heard the soft,  _ Hello, Mr. Solo, sir, _ without breaking his stride or waiting for the man to finish, Ben barked, “Book me the soonest flight to New Haven. I don’t care what it costs. Call me back and let me know when you get it done.”

There was no pause or hesitation, just a simple. “Yes, sir.”

Ben hung up, placed his coffee and phone on his bedside table and moved over to his closet where he took out a large suitcase. He tossed it on the bed. He didn’t bother packing suits, only sweaters and tees, jeans and a pair of soft cotton pants to sleep in. He didn’t know how long he’d be gone so he packed enough for a week. By the time he had all of his clothes, he would need his phone rang.

Swiping to accept, he said, “Yeah?”

“I have you on the last flight out at three-thirty, sir. Arrival in New Haven at seven-ten.”

“Good.”

“That’s seven-ten AM. I apologize, Mr. Solo, there were no direct flights.”

Hand in the air, Ben waved away his concern. “I expected as much. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be checking in regularly and I’ll let you know when to book me a return flight.”

“Yes, sir.”

He and Mitaka spent a few minutes going over the details of his flight, Mitaka telling him he’d send Ben his e-ticket for his flight and assuring him he had a handle on rescheduling his meetings for the time being before hanging up.

While Ben might normally send Hux a message about any spontaneous trips, Ben didn’t know when he’d return so he begrudgingly pulled up Hux’s number and called.

“Well, this is a surprise. Did you change your mind on joinin-”

“You and Phasma are on your own for the meeting Monday. I’m going back to New York for a few days, maybe through the week. If you need me, you can call or have Mitaka forward me whatever it is you’ll think I’ll need to see.” 

“You’re doing what?” Hux made a sound something that was a mixture of a sputter and a scoff. “Does Snoke know about this?”

“I’ll let him know, but seeing as I can do anything we might need from there I don’t see how it will be an issue. If he has a problem with it, he can fire me.”

“Right… so you’ll be back?”

“I can’t say for sure. At the very most next week.”

“If I might ask-”

“You can’t,” Be supplied effectively cutting Hux off. “All you need to know is that it’s something that won’t wait and something that I need to take care of in person. You can take that back to Snoke, or make of it what you will.”

“All right then,” Hux said. “Then I suppose, have a safe trip.”

Ben hummed and ended the call. 

With still a few hours before his flight, Ben sat wearily on his bed and rubbed his eyes. The last couple of nights hadn’t been kind. Between not being able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time and drinking more than he was used to, it had taken a toll on him. But something had come from his insomnia. It was the realization that his situation with Rey wasn’t something he wanted to fix thousands of miles away from her. He didn’t want to do it over the phone or with flowers. He wanted to look into her warm hazel eyes when he told her how truly sorry he was. He wanted the next time she told him she was pregnant to be standing in front of her. And when they talked about how they’d move forward, he wanted to be there, holding her hand while sitting next to her supporting whatever decision she made.

* * *

A little after six in the morning Rey woke to the worst morning sickness she’d experienced thus far. She felt horrible. Utterly and completely horrible and… so bloody  _ tired _ . If she could, she’d make up some excuse and call in sick for the foreseeable future or the next seven months. She couldn’t, however, because she didn’t have a phone. Well, she did, but it was lying on her bedside table; the screen shattered beyond repair beside an enormous bouquet. 

She reached out and ran her fingers over the soft petal of a white lily thinking back to Friday when she walked into work and found them.

_ Tiredness had clung to her like a weighted blanket as she walked down the hall to her desk. She’d been thinking of talking to Leia about going home a little early that day when she stopped short at the sight of three of her coworkers gathered around her desk. Rose, Paige, Kaydel all spoke in stage whispers, so it wasn’t hard to miss the excitement in them.  _

_ “Who are they from?” asked Rose, sounding breathless.  _

_ “How would I know?” Paige answered.  _

_ “Can you see the card?” Rose leaned over Rey’s desk as though she were looking for something. _

_ “It’s on this side, and we can’t open it,” Kaydel told Rose firmly. _

_ A card? What exactly was happening? _

_ Rey stopped just short of the little group. “What’s going on?”  _

_ They all turned around. All of them smiling at her like they knew something she didn’t. A glance between Rose and Paige and Rey’s eyes widened. She moved to the side of her desk so she could look properly behind them and… her heart did one of those silly flip-flops in her chest.  _

_ She’d never been sent flowers. Not ever. Kaydel had once. Leia got them often enough from her husband and son (when Rey ordered them for him which was every Mother’s Day and birthday). Never though had flowers delivered to her. The closest to receiving flowers she got was a small bouquet of daisies from her grandfather after she’d been accepted to Yale and she was almost certain those daisies came from their grumpy neighbor Mr. Plutt’s front garden. _

_ “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” Rose said with a bright smile. _

_ Rey shared a look with Kay. She knew she’d eventually have to tell them about Ben (and the other thing) but there in front of Leia’s office wasn’t where she imagined doing it.  _

_ “I don’t,” she said hoping they’d accept that and that be the end.  _

_ Thankfully for her, Kay had taken it upon herself to shoo them all away and give her a moment to herself. _

_ When they were gone, Rey dropped her purse on her chair. The flowers were lovely. The lilies without a doubt her favorite. She reached for the card with trembling hands. She had worried the flowers weren’t for her but her name on the envelope had that doubt falling away. She was sure she knew exactly who they were from and she didn’t know how she felt about that. Her first response was to be mildly impressed he’d be thoughtful enough to send them to her when she had to send a reminder to him when his mother’s birthday was approaching. Rey sometimes felt as if she was his secretary along with his mothers.  _

_ But underneath all the annoyance she carried from the past, Rey felt touched if not a bit amused he’d found a way to get another word in. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out the card, glancing around her quickly to make sure she was alone before reading it. _

_ Rey, _

_ I’m sorry. Please give me a chance to explain why I said the things I did. _

_ Always, _

_ Ben _

Tears filled her eyes remembering how she’d had to escape into the bathroom so she could cry without everyone thinking something awful had happened. She swiped them away as she got up from bed while damning the hormones, the ridiculous, beautiful flowers, Ben bloody Solo. 

Out in the kitchen, she found Finn sipping coffee while talking with Poe. Ever since Poe took a job in New York, they kept up their Sunday mornings together via Facetime. It was adorable and gave Rey faith that a long-distance relationship was possible, at least, until recently. 

Stomach-churning, she filled a glass full of water planning to leave as quickly as she came. She couldn’t even look at the remnants of his omelet sitting half-eaten on a plate on the kitchen counter. The smell lingering in the kitchen was bad enough. She just made it past him when she saw him reach his hand out.

“Rey,” Finn called. “Do you want some breakfast?”

She turned back taking a deep breath through her nose willing her stomach not to lurch. “Um,” she swallowed down hard, “no, thank you.”

“Still not feeling it, huh?”

“Not at all I’m afraid.” It was a shame. Finn was a fantastic cook. She’d gained ten pounds since becoming his roommate.

“Okay, well when you start feeling like eating again, I’ll make up for the ones you missed.” 

She smiled feeling oh so grateful for him and his friendship. A few steps toward him, and he gathered her into a hug. “Thank you,” she murmured into his dark blue Puma hoodie but only for a few moments. She’d need to go get dressed so she could take her phone to get fixed and before she cried again. 

Finn met her gaze as she stepped away. He held up a finger at her. “Hey, I see those puffy eyes. I know you don’t want to talk about it but just say the word and I’ll go to the UK myself and kick his ass.”

Rey managed a laugh. “That’s sweet of you, but it’s all right.” Days without speaking to him and reading what he wrote she’d had some time to reflect on their conversation and why he might have said what he did. She found herself a little more understanding. He was still an idiot for not calling her sooner, but she could see how he might think a relationship would be difficult for them. “I think... I think I might have been a little hard on him.”

“Hmm, we’ll see. He hurts you, he’ll answer to me.”

“And me,” came Poe’s voice from the table. 

Three hours later, Rey found herself in the middle of a Verizon store waiting while a young man looked at her phone to see if they could fix the screen. His nametag -Gerald, it read- and underneath was, “Hi, I’m training” so he had to go frequently to his other coworkers for questions. Finally, he came back with a face that told her all she needed to know. “I’m sorry but my manager said there’s no way to repair this device.”

Rey’s shoulders slumped. “Drat. I liked my phone.”

Finn put his hand on her shoulder. “Peanut, it’s an iPhone 6. It was its time.”

His mock mournful tone had her rolling her eyes. “Whatever. I just need a phone at this point.”

The young man smiled and told her he’d be happy to show her upgrade options. She and her friends followed him out into the store where he showed them the newest Google Pixel and latest LG which impressed none of them, but Rey still smiled and continued to follow him as he asked her questions about what she did with her phone and the things most important to her.

“At least your phone was synced to your computer,” Finn said, still feeling proud he had been the one who pointed that out to her.

“Seriously, I’d have died without that. It’s been a lifesaver. I’ve just been too tired to do it after work.”

“And you’re avoiding his calls so…” Kay trailed off a knowing look in her eyes. 

She wasn’t wrong.

“He must not have an iPhone,” Finn supplied in a sing-song voice.

“That’s crazy,” Kay said. “Who doesn’t these days?” 

“The boy radiates Android user.”

Kay must have agreed because she snorted and hummed a confirming hum.

Gerald took them to the iPhone’s but was immediately called over by another employee. He made his apologies then left them alone which was fine by Rey. She preferred to look and browse on her own. 

“I wonder how many missed calls you’ll have?” Finn wondered aloud.

Kay smirked. “Fifty bucks says he’s tried to call her minimum twice a day.”

Finn pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing in thought. “I’m thinking more messages. Her new phone will probably blow up with them.”

Rey ignored them and continued looking at the phones on display. She came to a stop in front of a lilac-colored phone. “Oh, this is pretty.”

Finn raised a skeptical brow. “You sure? It’s an android.”

Rey looked up from the phone. She’d somehow wandered into the Samsung territory. “Oh. Is that bad?”

“No, not bad just different from what you’re used to. Come here, look.” He took her hand talking her back to the previous display. “These are pretty too.”

The iPhone Max Pro the display read. She did not understand what that met exactly, but one look at the price told her it meant it probably had more bells and whistles than she would ever need. “I don’t think I need something this fancy, Finn.”

“Okay, but hear me out,” he said taking the phone from its stand. “It has the best camera for pictures and video out there. Think of baby peanut. You know you’ll be one of those moms who documents every wiggle and coo the kid makes.”

Rey bit her lip. She would. She’d be exactly one of those mum’s, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend  _ that _ much money on a phone. “You’re not wrong about that,” she began but then noticed the phone sitting next to it was significantly cheaper and picked it up. “What about this? I like the yellow.”

“It’s a step-down but still a good phone.”

Rey opened the camera, touching the screen until the camera changed to the front-facing and tilting it towards them all. They all posed for a selfie. Clicking on the picture Rey smiled when it came up. “Look! It takes great pictures.”

“That the one you want?” Finn asked.

With a nod, she set it back in its place. “It is.”

“Okay, you heard the girl,” Finn told the young man who had been waiting patiently behind them with a head tilt towards the phone. “Upgrade her.”

It turned out upgrading was a process. Especially when one was training. The young man apologized to Rey and her friends for the third time in the last twenty minutes, then scurried off to get his managers to help.

Rey swiveled around in the low rolling stools. If this took much longer, she was going to take a nap on the table. She didn’t care what people thought of it. “I’m so exhausted. This is taking forever.”

Finn reached out and took her hand. “He’s almost done.”

Rey yawned. Looking out the window, she spotted a line of restaurants. Maybe some sugar would help? “I feel like I want to eat but also like I just want something to snack on.”

“Yeah? There’s a Starbucks next door. Do you want a scone or a muffin?”

Rey pursed her lips. The idea of food wasn’t making her feel sick, she might as well take the opportunity to have something she loved. “Not a scone. Maybe a cheese danish and a hot chocolate?”

He smiled and pat her hand. “You got it.”

Fifteen minutes later, with hands full of cups and pastry bags, Finn distributed the beverages and snacks between them all.

The hot chocolate was heavenly. She didn’t know how it worked exactly, but pregnancy had heightened her sense of smell so dramatically that it seemed to make the mocha taste better than it had before. This part of pregnancy she could handle.

Gelard came over to their table with her new phone in his hand. “Here you go. Once you sign in to your iCloud your contacts, photos, and everything you had synced to your phone should start pulling up.”

She took it from him, admiring the case and screen protector she’d picked out at Kay’s advice as she reminded Rey she didn’t want it to end up like the last one. 

Finn helped her set up the face recognition and through the setup options then once that was done, let her sign into her account. Once she did, her phone immediately dinged with all the messages and notifications she’d missed. “Oh, a message from Leia and you, Kay, and…” Ben.

She tapped on his name. 

Thursday:

8:32 PM:  _ Rey, please call me. _

8:50 PM:  _ I’m sorry.  _

9:47 PM:  _ Please can we talk about this? _

9:50 PM: _ I fucked up. I get that. This is killing me. Please, let me apologize.  _

Friday:

2:09 AM:  _ You have every right to be mad but I won’t stop calling. I want to fix this.  _

6:07 AM: _ I miss you. Even before you told me what you did. _

Saturday:

9:09 PM:  _ My head has been officially pulled out of my ass. _

Nothing on Sunday. Disappointment filled her chest, but only for a moment until she read the single one from this afternoon.

Today:

3:34 PM:  _ I’m on my way. _

Her brow furrowed. On his way? No. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He was  _ working _ .

Rey pressed her phone into her friend’s hand. “Kay read these and tell me what he means.”

Finn leaned over Kay’s shoulder to read the messages with her. Rey watched their faces as they both read. Kay’s lips pressing more tightly together with every message while Finn’s eyes widened. As soon as he finished reading, he snorted. “Boy knows he fucked up is what that means.”

Kay gave her her phone back. “I agree. He knows he’s in the shit house.” 

“But,” she started looking at them both pleasingly, “he’s not coming here?”

Kay shared a glance with Finn. “Sounds like he is.”

Rey blinked at them both. “But… but... he’s in London!”

The look Finn gave her was pitying, leaving her feeling suddenly very stupid. “Uh, he’s a rich fancy lawyer dude who was told he was about to be a daddy.” 

Rey stared at them. Finn was right. Oh, God. Still, maybe if she denied it… “No,” she whispered. She wasn’t ready for this. 

“Yes.”

“No.”

Finn took her by the shoulders. His hands holding her gently but firmly. “Peanut, yes.”

There was no point in texting him back now. She knew she’d be seeing him soon.


End file.
